Bait Hook
WORD PICTURE: BAIT HOOK
Scriptural References: Ephesians 4:14-15
Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of men in their deceitful scheming. Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will in all things grow up into him who is the Head, that is, Christ.
Proverbs 4:23
Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.
1. Have someone(s) read the scriptures from various translations:
2. Using the bait hook, describe a fisherman baiting the hook and patiently standing there, waiting -- for as long as it takes -- because, eventually a fish will bite. For me, the picture reminds me how easily I succumb to bait -- and how much it hurts me when I do. I get pulled out of my element, my safety zone, the very air I breathe. Recently I got a new idea: picture of myself simply ignoring the bait -- just not taking a chomp! Then I got another picture: tying a note onto the hook like “Charlie the Tuna” saying, “’Scuse me, could we take a moment here— I need to TALK!”
What I Shared
A truth about monkeys: this is how they are trapped in Burma using a coconut with a gleaming brass object stuck inside. Once a monkey gets ahold of the gleaming brass, he won’t let it go. The hunters can just walk up right up to him and carry him away -- and decapitate him and serve him up for dinner. It sounds a lot like what the Enemy does to many people I know -- and sometimes to me, though I’m getting better at recognizing the traps.
For me, there are two issues:
1. One issue is cancer of the soul. I believe that a woman I knew had this when she died. There had been 20 years of unforgiveness between this woman and her sister. No one knows why, but she was so angry and unforgiving that she actually became all bent over like a hunchback. It really showed on her! An observer could see that her life was burdened by unforgiveness!
I know that this stuff isn’t good for us -- for me or anyone else. So I’m pretty good at cleaning up my side of the street when it comes to resentments and unforgiveness; at letting go of things that aren’t good for me (like cancers of the soul). I’m even good at lying back for surgery so God can simply cut them out. I think this is related to the scripture we read about guarding the heart.
2. What I’m not good at (yet) is another other issue: speaking the truth. In other words, I’m not good at replacing the fisherman’s bait with a note the says, “OUCH! HELLO, CAN WE TALK????”.
Here is an example (going back to the bait): I have a friend who is so volatile that it is starting to scare me when the phone rings and it’s her. By volatile, I mean that when she is sweet she is SO SWEET and so much fun -- but then, for no apparent reason, she just TURNS. She gets a strange kind of sarcastic that makes me feel as if I’ve just said something terribly hurtful to her, but I know I haven’t (because I’m not stupid and I know that what I just said wasn’t). So instead of stopping and tying a note on the hook and sending it up to her, I usually guess my way to the end of the conversation, and never clearly understand what happened or why.
But recently, I saw the flip and I said to myself, “I’m not sticking around for this.” So I just got off the phone. I didn’t confront it (yet) but next time I think I can. My plan for next time is to stop her in her tracks and simply say, “Did I just something to offend you?” Or, “Do you love me or hate me or somewhere in between?’’ Or, “I am so uncomfortable when we talk because of your volatility, and I would like to pray about this with you now!”
I think I know what to write on the note and how to tie to the hook. And I think I will, because whatever she is trying to communicate to me she is not communicating to me. I need to be direct -- not subtle, not indirect. I need friends who are honest with me. I do not like people who tippytoe, who think they are being tactful or gentle, but who are actually being dishonest. For me, the blessing is speaking the truth in love. I think God is saying it is better to flounder (pun intended!) all over the place than to wimp out and walk away. Proverbs 27:6 says, Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
With my Traumatic Phone Call, at least I managed to ignore the bait the last time (guarding my heart from further attack). But my goal is to send the note back up (speaking the truth as best I can). In the case of my volatile friend. I think that I need to ask her if she knows that it actually scares me now to find her at the other end of the phone. Maybe she won’t be able to take that, but if I don’t try to speak this truth, I’ll STILL lose her friendship because she’ll just be gone from my life, but she’ll never know the reasons.
Concept
Friendships are like ligaments in the Body of Christ. As living members of the Body, we have to be willing to bring our hurts into the light and be real with one another -- or the Body will be in pain or be severed in places where healing was God’s will and intention.
So -- is there an example from YOUR life -- something that’s not okay with you, some way you need to be like Charlie Tuna and send up a note saying,
OUCH!!!
Can we TALK???
Suggested Prayer
Father God, thank You for blessing me with directness and honesty of the spirit and tongue. Thank You for blessing me with faithfulness so that I do not walk away or wimp out in conversations when I feel “baited” or starting to “flounder”. And most of all, Father, thank You for removing my fear in these situations and blessing me with Your peace!
Volatile friend, I bless you with directness and honesty in speech, and I bless you with faithfulness in our conversations – not to walk away or wimp out when we talk,
In Jesus name.
Amen and Amen!
All Scripture references from the New International Version of the Bible (NIV).
Copyright by Whitney McKendree Moore, September 2006